Interview 1 (Keri Ann, professional musician/mother)
Keri-Ann shared that during her "expected" pregnancy the core emotions felt were excited, joyful, and scared. Even through all the laughter she had secret worries that every expectant parent goes through. She explained "Questions always overwhelmed me, I kept on asking myself if I was ready to do a good job. I wanted to be able to provide my child the same way my mother had. Being a bit of a perfectionist(laughter), it was much harder to let fate decide the outcome of the baby".
She described the process of being pregnant as "incomparable". She would constantly have to run to the restroom to urinate, nausea changed on day to day basis, but on the other hand it helped her allergies clear up. A significant change was found in her dietary habits, she would have strong cravings for a variety of foods which often altered throughout her pregnancy. "Near the last few months and the beginning of the pregnancy was the scariest since every day was full of surprises. My feelings and emotions would fluctuate at any given time, it made me very uncomfortable".
I found Keri-Ann's perspective on pregnancy to be quite normal in our standards. Many of the responses were expected more or less with a personal twist somewhere in the middle. As far as I can tell from the interview with her, the emotional aspect of the process seems to be very generic, but the environment really sways how extremely they are portrayed. When I first asked her if the pregnancy was expected or a surprise she answered expected which I find to be a bit odd. I've heard people state that they wanted to have a baby, but was surprised to hear that they were pregnant, but Keri-Ann wouldn't consider it an unexpected birth. This didn't stand out to me much until I read over the Q&A interview sheet. I think it can be controversial depending on the parent's mentality pre-pregnancy.
Interview 2 (My Mom)
My mom had me at an age that many parents would consider old. Being a 38 year old pregnant mother, she worried about her health and ability to give birth. What motivated her through the process was the urge to bless my older brother with a sibling to grow up with. The oldest sibling of a relatively large family with 3 younger sibling, 2 sisters and 1 brother, she supposed that growing up amongst siblings would be a happier and healthier way to live. "Being an older sibling brings wonders. It teaches responsibility at a very young age, and I think it helped me advance into becoming who I am now" she explained.
At the time of my birth, she faced many conflicts, especially financial issues. Prioritizing her health and my health over everything, she decided to take it easy and refrain from working while raising my brother. She commented on the situation saying "It wasn't the smartest move to raise a second child, but putting financial issues aside, it felt right". Living in a small studio apartment in the East Village with my Dad and my brother, she thrived to find a better life for me and my brother even if she would have to work harder than ever to pay back the loans. When I asked her why she did it she responded "Even if I have to hide my emotions and stress, at least it would make life easier for my kids".
Though I've heard my story millions of times, I always find it interesting that she never talks about the physical factors of being pregnant. I think what was happening around her was too much to stop and pity herself for going through the pain of giving birth. No matter who I ask, no one shares her birth stories like my mom, possibly because it is less personal being asked by her own son. It is hard to fit my mom's story into what is normal in our culture, but I think that living for your child/children should be a norm for any parent.
Interview 3 (Nancy, girlfriend's grandmother)
Like many pregnancies, Nancy had all the typical symptoms, cravings, and worries, but the main difference in this expected pregnancy was that her husband and Nancy herself were overly expecting a male son. This did not happen of course. To make things worse, her new born girl was born sickly. "The pregnancy was easy enough considering it was my first, but what I really can't get over is how much trouble I had accepting the fact that now I would have to care for this sick baby all by myself." She went through a very depressive state at that time, where she even furthered her actions by going to a few different hospitals to see if she could abort the baby even after birth. "I was young and scared, it was my first time dealing with such a big gift and a burden all at the same time. My mother told me, 'That's life,' but unfortunately, I was the type to give up very easily over the smallest of things. I know that what I did back then was very childish of me. Like many young adults who are transitioning into adults, I felt like too many things were happening at once and was being thrown in my face."
Possibly due to the generation gap, I found this birth story to be the most unique and impacting. I always thought that unconditional love was a must, but it is quite upsetting to hear how a mother could not love her child even after birth. It seems like their relationship had grown stronger overtime, but their is still partial regret. I guess personally experiencing the possible flaws in birth at a young age can overwhelm a mother's hopes and desires. This interview was slightly depressing but highly informative and insightful.
After hearing various perspectives and stories on birth, I am inspired to focus more on differences of pregnancies through the generations in American culture.
What an eye-opening read about birth!-especially the last story. I believe the most generic conclusion about birth, is the movie birth story. Parents being overjoyed, new-to-be grandparents being happily surprised to tears, the baby showers and gifts...but no. Life is not that simple at all. Or should I say, No one life/person is like the other.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the fact that you were able to write not only about the story everyone already knows, but furthered it with emotions of the interviewees. Included in your stories was one that particularly peaked my interest--and that was the one about the birth of yourself. Honest and raw. The financial aspects, the small history behind yourself. Basically peering into the life of the author himself.
The last story was, quite frankly, appalling. It was unique in a way that it represented a different generation, but what a story!
At first, I thought I could never imagine such a person, such a MOTHER, could exist. I took another read through and let the idea roll in my head for a while.
As cruel as the story seemed, I remembered: That is life.
Who knows how Nancy could have been raised, what circumstances she was brought up in, what was happening at that time. People think and do irrational things all the time. It's great that she was able to realize her own mistakes because that, already, is half the battle.
As much as I enjoyed this post, I have to say: As a female reader, I am wondering about the other half of the story. And by other half, I am referring to the husband (or other?). As natural births go, and how life happens, it takes a woman AND a man. I would have liked to have read on the man's influence on the birth.
I haven't given much thought to pregnancy, but now that I read some of your stories I feel really terrified. I guess I really thought that pregnancy is just a part of life. I thought it was something that just kinda happens in your life and that's that. All I really thought about was how much it would hurt to go through it all.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Sarah above me. I liked that you brought three different stories to show a comparison. The only thing else you could add on is more commentary from you. I think it would make the post more interesting.